bad day

I just been having such a bad day today.  Just finally seeing people for who they really are.  Some are more disgusting then others.  I found my brother on facebook after not seein him in like 15 years or so.  Sometimes opening old doors can also bring about pain.  He is connected to my dad and stepmom..neither of which ever loved or cared for me so reaching out to my lil brother brings bad memories and much pain.  But I know I have to let the painful part go because he is a grownup and not a child anymore so now we can build a new relationship and one that will last.  I love him and my stepbrother and joy in my heart because they are now a part of my life once again . I also thought I would reach out to my ex today and and Im glad I did because sometimes... closing the door completely is such a hard thing to do.  I just wanted to make sure I did the right thing.  After talking to him and listening to him blaming me once again for everything bad that has happened to us...and he was Mr. Perfect.....I now know I made the best decission and can really close the door completely.....slammm.......sigh... I also checked in on an old acquantance on fb just to find out he is a nasty scag and I think today I lost all respect for him. Men are so vile anymore...I just dont have the time or energy to cipher through all the fasaids men put on now a days. Takes so much energy anymore just to get to know someone. I dont want sex, a relationship, a male friend..NOTHING....I guess you can call me one of those "Born Again Virgins"  because men just disgust me anymore and dont want no woman so..there it is.  Men can just sleep w/women and not have any kind of emotional attachment or feelin...its a scary world anymore if you want the "old school" kinda of relationship.....Just  a word of caution........"Solid, meaningful, love filled...monagomus relationships dont exist anymore...You want a fuck, a feel up, a dick you can call on when your lonely and just want a companion for the moment...they exist by the dozens......That's the new relationships in todays world.  So with that being said.....I have promised my body to God because I will never settle for anything less than my worth and I am worth so much more and I wont compromise....Im going to become my best lover and there you have it......