Is Love An Illusion or is It Real

I just recently ended a relationship with someone In whom I loved very much.  I thought we were the perfect couple.  I was older than he and for that..I thought that would make us even stronger in our quest be together.  It has been a little over a month now since our separation.  One day, our son in which we share together, came home and he was talking about a girl that was with him and his dad at the park. It wasn't until that very moment that I realized I still had many attached feelings left for him.  I knew that because when my son told me that...it did something to me inside.  So I took a step back & re-evaluated our 5 years .off again and on again ..relationship. We had split up twice before and each time in a month's time he was seeing someone.  It really made me dig deeper into my deepest most inter-felt feelings.  In doing this..I realized that for someone to move on so fast when they were oh so in love with me...that they couldn't have ever truly loved me..not in the way that I loved them.  So at that point I researched all my relationships from teen years to present. I came to the realization that in all my relationships, even though I had loved them as much as I could..and for me... that is extra hard, I realized I had never been truly loved.  Not the kind of love that I thought love should be.  I will be 40 in November and after living all these years here on earth....I have never truly been loved.  Wow....thats some kind of realization to come to.  So many of us are in relationships that one person is giving more than the other, but telling you that they love you with all their heart but in reality...do they even love you at all or is that just something to say because that is what you do when you are in a relationship.  There are many of us who do not even know what love really is or should be.  I know he cared for me and maybe even loved me in his own way, but not the way I feel I needed to be loved.  How sad for me and so many others, who experience the same let down...when realization kicks in. Sad because even though you give them the keys and complete entrance in your heart...they give you the keys but they also have extra locks added so you can only gain just enough entrance to satisfy the relationship.  Sometimes I wonder, truly what is love.  Is is real or an Illusion.  Illusion because it looks reals, feels real, even  has many aspects of it that may reflect a relationship in something you seen with your parents, friends or grandparents.  Love can feel real to you even tug at your heart so much so that it blinds you to reality....but the real question you have to always ask yourself....do they love me in the  manner in which you love them... I am just at a loss for words because with time being so limited and me being so guarded....I don't think I will ever get the chance to know what it feels like to be truly loved with heart, mind soul and body.  Who knows maybe my ex's felt the same way and never thought I loved them the way they needed to be....I guess I will know

Is love an illusion or is it real
Is it something you think  of or something you feel

Is it planted in truth or planted in fiction
Is it something you feen for almost like an addiction

Is the love you feel making you do stupid things for it
Is it your mind blinding your eyes to make it fit

Is love a true existence that is to be cherished and shared
Is love a figment of our imaginations and we are unaware

I hope that what you share in is true love meant to be
I hope that you will never come to a reality like me

Examine your mind and search your heart deep
Make sure your love is reciprocated and your partners is playing for keeps

I read something a few months back and the sentence started with "Eyes Wide Shut". It hit me kinda  hard because it was such a catchy phrase  My perception of it was this... you go into situation with your eyes wide opened , thinking its right for you or something you really want but in the true scope of reality your eyes are closed...closed to your wants or what your desires can really bring bad or good  Closed to the not knowing of the situation.  Closed to what you think you see but it could be masked...hidden. This is just a perception ..my own perception...but something to make your mind think...Are you in love or are your "Eyes Wide Shut"